There's so much to write...

Leave it to Musiq Soulchild to illustrate exactly what I would like in a significant other, lulzzz, fuckin' love that man's music.

Ridiculously long post, my apologies. Be forewarned, I probably quoted a bunch of songs, see if you can catch them.  Enjoy.

I've had my fair share of the ups and downs, the ins and outs of relationships.  And after my last relationship ended, I've decided I'm not going to be in a real relationship until I meet someone who meet can meet my criteria.  Am I asking for a lot? Possibly.  But I'm worth a lot.  Granted, I've made mistakes in my past relationships, but I've learned what to do and what not to do.  In the next relationship I get myself into, I don't want to half ass it.  I want the both of us to be happy.  Genuinely happy.  I don't want to be the only one fighting to make a relationship work.  I don't want to be the only one putting effort in.  I don't want to be taken for granted.  I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt.  And simply put, I don't want to waste my time on someone who's just not worth it.

So without further ado, I give you, what I guess I'll call it... my 'boyfriend criteria'.

First and foremost, I would appreciate someone who is human. I'm not asking for someone who is perfect, 'cause let's be real, kids... there's no such thing unless his name is Edward Cullen or Mr. Darcy or Gregory House (lol).  Someone who makes mistakes, corrects the mistake, admits his faults, knows when he's wrong, and learns and grows from the past. Someone who isn't afraid to admit he needs help or support from others.  Someone who isn't scared to cry.  Someone who is broken, like me, but is doing his best to heal himself by any means necessary. Someone who is able to forgive himself for his wrongdoings.  Someone who realizes he's just as imperfect as I am. 

Someone who is my friend. To be completely honest, I've never had a solid friendship foundation with any of my ex-boyfriends before, that could possibly be one of the reasons why none of them really worked out. It was acquaintance turn into boyfriend type of thang, so... I would like my next boyfriend to be a good friend first.  Not necessarily saying being my best friend is the first step, but I'm just saying I think it would make the relationship all the more successful if a strong friendship was established first.  Someone I can chill with.  Someone who understands me.  Someone I can be 110% comfortable with.  But I've always felt uncomfortable with this for several different reasons (ie: what happens when you break up? He's gone not only as a boyfriend, but as a friend, etc.)

Someone who is strong. Mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, etc.  Someone who can fall down, face first, and can pick himself up again. Someone who strives for perfection in every aspect of life.  Someone who is determined to better himself and become the best he can be.  Someone who knows what he wants in life and succeeds.  Someone who will not, by any means, settle for less than what he deserves.  Someone who will go the distance (Hercules style, MFs! - Manny Garcia).  Someone who will bring out the best in me (and vice versa). Someone independent, hardworking, and responsible.  Someone who knows what it is like to get hurt, but is emotionally secure and can cope with pain fairly well.  Someone who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve.  Someone, like I said before, who won't dwell on the past, but learns and grows from it.  Someone who is not easily influenced.  Someone who can think for himself.  Someone who is rational and thinks things through.  Someone who has self-control and uses it when it comes to other girls, alcohol, and other temptations.  Someone who is not easy.  Someone who is not a whore. Somene who is financially stable because I don't need a financial burden, nor do I need someone to milk me for the (little) money I have.  Someone who has good morals and can differentiate what's wrong from right.  Someone who is physically strong to help open jars for me when I'm not able to (which is often)  Womp womp...

Somene who will love me for me. Plain and simple.  All girls want in a relationship is to love and be loved.  Someone who knows me inside and out, accepts my imperfections, and still loves me.  Someone who isn't afraid to let his guard down.  Someone who knows of my past and won't judge me.  Someone who will accept me for me... flaws and all.

Someone who is simple. Not simple minded. Someone who I can watch the Cavaliers game with and drink beers with. Someone who doesn't think it's necessary to take me out to five star restaurants on every date, where a bowl of pho or a trip to Chik-Fil-A can suffice.  Someone who I can sit in Starbucks with and have conversations with for hours.  Someone who appreciates a good cuddle session.  Someone who plays with my hair and gives me massages without me asking.  Someone who loves the simple pleasures in life as much as I do.  Someone I can spend a cleaning day with.  Someone who isn't too extravagant. Someone I can cook/bake with (or attempt to cook with, lol!).  Someone who will sit in a park with me to people watch and make names and lives up for the people who pass us by.  Someone who is able to lie in bed and be lazy with me all day.  Someone who is humble enough to give a me a homemade gift for Christmas, my birthday, anniversaries, etc. (plus, they're much more heartfelt.)  Someone who isn't too materialistic and doesn't feel the need to show off how much he's 'worth.'   Someone who doesn't feel the need to impress anyone with his cars, his shoes, or his clothing, etc. Someone who will show me he cares about me by the simple things he does for me.

Someone who is intelligent. I'm not just talking about a guy who knows all the digits after 3.14 of pi or a guy whose vocabulary exceeds all.  Nothing turns me on more than a guy who knows what the hell he's talking about. Someone who knows (and actually cares about) what's going on in the world.  Someone who can stimulate my mind (strengthen my spirits) through conversation.  Someone who can make me think, that good ol' philosophical shit.  Someone who can teach me things I don't know.  Someone who isn't completey brainwashed by society and MTV reality shows.  Someone who appreciates some episodes/documentaries on the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, or TLC.  Someone who will watch the news with me in the morning and at night.  Someone who I can have a serious conversation with about life.  Someone who could be my voice of reason when needed.

Someone I can trust and can trust me. Because trust is, I believe, the most important thing to have in a relationship.  Someone who is real and open with me.  Someone I can tell all my secrets to and have enough confidence in them to believe that they won't tell anyone else.  Someone who will not lie to me, no matter how trivial the lie is, because I've been lied to one too many times.  Someone who won't say certain things to just appease me or shut me up.  Someone who I can trust if I'm not there with him.  Someone who understand that hiding something from me will only make matters worse.  Someone who I know will not cheat on me nor flirt with any other girl when I'm not around. Someone I know who won't do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with if he goes to parties with alcohol involved.  Someone who is okay with me having many guy friends because I'll be okay with him having many girl friends.  Someone who understands that at the end of the day, I'm his and only his.  Someone I know I can rely on and a man of his word.  A ride or die type of guy.

Someone with a good personality that comes with good conversation. Someone who is interesting and knows how to keep a conversation going.  Someone who isn't socially awkward and fun to be around.  Someone spontaneous, quirky, witty.  Someone who speaks their mind.  Someone who is slow to take and quick to give.  Someone who is hilarious, goofy, and silly but knows when to be serious.  Someone who is loving and compassionate.  Someone with a big heart and kind soul.  Someone mature and responsible.  Someone who can handle himself.  Someone open-minded.  Someone reasonable.  Someone who is sincere in every little thing he does.  Someone who says "I'm sorry" and actually means it.  Someone who is capable of inspiring others.  Someone cares not only about me, but everyone in his life.  Someone who wants to see a change in the world and takes action.  Someone captivating and can make me fall in love with him over and over again.  Someone with good intentions.  Someone romantic, but not too cheesy. Someone down-to-earth.  Someone forgiving.  Someone generous.  Someone who doesn't talk shit or run his mouth.  Someone who is a nice guy, all around.  Someone who can kick it with my friends.

Someone who is passionate. (graphic, skip over this if you're under 18 or if sex makes you uncomfortable, lmao) Someone who is passionate in a couple different aspects.  Someone who is passionate about life and about what he does for a living.  Someone who loves what he does and loves the people around him.  Someone who will kiss me out of no where.  Someone who isn't afraid to show affection.  Someone who shows me he loves me everyday. Someone who is experienced (not too experienced though) and knows how to sexually please a woman.  A good kisser who knows how to keep things interesting and strays away from what could possibly be routine.  Someone who will allow me to do my thing on them as well and knows exactly what to do to make me go crazy.  Someone who can give me butterflies/that tingly feeling by just kissing my neck.  Someone who will please me as much as I please them.  Someone who takes advantage of my flexibility (let's just leave it at that).  Someone who has a nice body (with a delicious back, mMm, helloooo latissmus dorsi & trapezius.) and takes care of himself, hygienically speaking.  Someone who can last (again, I'll leave that for your interpretation).

Someone who does NOT put me first in his life.  Someone who has his priorities straight, where I come after himself and his families and friends.  Someone who cares about me, but knows who comes first.  Someone who isn't needy and yearns for attention 24/7.  Someone who lets me do my own thang and doesn't have to see my every minute of every day, but still cares enough to call and text me to check up on me throughout the day.

Someone who won't take my kindness for weakness.  I've been taken advantage of too many times in the past, and I've learned that not all people have good intentions.  I want someone who will appreciate me and appreciate the things I do for them.  Someone who will appreciate it when I do their dishes.  Someone who will appreciate it when I bake them something just for them.  Someone who will appreciate all the homemade cards/letters I make them.  Someone who will appreciate the songs/poems I write them.  Someone who will appreciate all the love and care I have to offer.  Someone who will appreciate me, all in all.

Someone who is eclectic. "You're creative, you're the picture boy I jus painted."  A leader, not a follower. Someone who stands up for what he believes in and stands his ground.  Someone who is his own individual.  Someone is almost unphased by the opinions of others.  A guy who not only says he's "different from any other guy" but proves it.

Someone with a positive outlook on life. Someone who can lift my spirits with his optimism and positivity.  Someone who is hopeful and believes that there's always something to live for.  Someone who is grateful for their life and lives life to its' fullest potential.

Someone who is sensitive, understanding, confident, and thoughtful.  I need someone who is sensitive and is willing to understand what I go through, but strong enough to keep me grounded.  Someone who has the right words to say when I'm feeling down and will kiss my tears away. Someone who won't ask me "Why are you making a big deal out of that?," but tries to understand why it, whatever it may be, has such an impact on me.  Someone who tells me they miss me when they're thinking of me.  Someone who not only provides good advice, but can also just listen to me rant about my personal issues.  Someone who is comfortable in their own shoes and loves themself.  Someone who is confident, not cocky.  Someone who accepts compliments, but does not let them blow his head up.  Someone who tells me I'm beautiful, insead of hot.  Someone who actually puts thought into a birthday/anniversary gift instead of giving me a pair of shoes or a bag plastered with an expensive logo on it.

Someone who is respectful.  Give respect to get it. Someone who earns and deseves my respect.  Someone who will respect me.  Someone who will respect himself.  Someone who I can bring home to meet the parents and won't feel too nervous about it.  Someone who respects my wishes, my body, my opinions, and my personal space.  Someone who won't go through my text messages.  Someone who has good etiquette and mannerisms.  Someone who proves to me that chivalry still exists.  Someone who I can respect enough in order to be submissive (to an extent).  "God made woman to be man's helpmate."  I can't be a help to a man if he can't help himself, ya digs.

And last but not least, someone who can handle me.  I have no problem admitting that I'm not perfect.  At times, I'm impatient, indecisive, irrational, aggressive, etc.  I want someone who can handle me at my worst and lead me to my best.  Someone who puts up with me because I know I can be very difficult to deal with.  Someone who will accept my weirdness/insanity/etc. and take it all in and learns to embrace it.

( + plusessss. Not really necessary... but a little icing to the cake, ya digs): Someone who is versatile. Someone who is musically talented (or not?) and randomly serenades me.  Someone who is physically fit and can keep up with my energy.  Someone who cleans up nicely.  Someone who cares enough to read this.

Is that too much to ask for, ( insert fictitious boy of dreams' name )?  I won't accept anything less because I deserve the best and so does he, so I'll strive to be the best I can be for him.  I'll do the same for you and will love you for who you are.  No questions asked.  I promise I won't get into another relationship with another guy.  I'll wait for you, love.

Until next time ♥,
Reezy

Remember when rap wasn't all about who had the most guap, when it wasn't about gettin' ya d wet, when shooting people wasn't something to really brag about?  Just that feel good, influential music.  Gooood shit.

1.) Tupac - I ain't mad at ya

Sick beat. Dope lyrics. Tupac never ceases to amaze. One of my favorite Tupac songs. So real. He shits on all other rappers. Just sayin.

Change, shit
I guess change is good for any of us
Whatever it take for any of y'all niggas to get up out the hood
Shit, I'm wit cha, I ain't mad at cha
Got nuttin but love for ya, do your thing boy

2.) Gangstarr - Moment of truth

One of the most quotable songs I've ever heard. I've heard this song so many effing times, but the lyrics still give me chills down my spine.

Actions have reactions, don't be quick to judge
You may not know the hardships people don't speak of
It's best to step back, and observe with couth
For we all must meet our moment of truth

..

Dark clouds over my head, my heart's racin
Suicide? Nah, I'm not a foolish guy
Don't even feel like drinking, or even gettin high
'Cause all that's gonna do really, is accelerate
the anxieties that I wish I could alleviate
But wait, I've been through a whole lot of other shit, before
So I oughta be able, to withstand some more
But I'm sweatin' though, my eyes are turnin' red and yo
I'm ready to lose my mind, but instead I use my mind
I put down the knife, and take the bullets out my nine
My only crime, was that I'm too damn kind
And now some skanless motherfuckers wanna take what's mine
But they can't take the respect, that I've earned in my lifetime

3.) Common & Lauryn Hill - Retrospect for life

Common and Lauryn Hill, two of  my favorite artists, collab to make a song. Any fucking song, shit's fire. The video's dope, the song's dope, the two are just skeetworthy, period.

You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I woulda fed this information I read
to someone, my life for you I woulda had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for takin your first breath, first step, and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Havin a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me

..

From now on, I'ma use self control instead of birth control
Cause three hundred and fifthteen dolla's ain't worth your soul
three hundred and fifthteen dolla's ain't worth your soul
three hundred and fifthteen dolla's ain't worth it.

Until next time ♥,
Reezy

P.S. If the Phillies don't win the next game, I will seriously punch a Yankees fan in the face.